


Love's Imitation

by An_R



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Kylo Ren Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 05:41:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10379712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_R/pseuds/An_R
Summary: What can be a better path to the dark side of the Force than one-sided love? This is an idea I had about two times Ben Solo/Kylo Ren thought he was in love (or dangerously close to it), and believed that all he got in return was a pale imitation of it.





	1. Poe Dameron

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kyluxtrashcompactor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyluxtrashcompactor/gifts).



21 ABY, New Republic Facilities, Hana City, Chandrila.

_Dear Poe. I have no doubt that you'll accomplish great things as a pilot of the New Republic Starfleet. I wish you all the best. You're a great kid (as my husband would say) and I'm sure your mother, who never left you although she is now one with the Force, is very proud to see the young man you have become. With love, Leia Organa._

It was the fifth time Poe Dameron grabbed his comm to reread Senator Organa's farewell message and his heart was still beating fast. Not that the message was a surprise itself, Senator Organa had always been one of his great supporters, so he kind of expected that she'd send him a word, no matter how busy or far away she was. The reason why seeing her words made him nervous had nothing to do with the sender, actually. It had to do with her son, a shy and complicated (if not hot, in his own clumsy way) lad named Ben Solo. 

And Ben was no less than the teenage boy he had dared to kiss (on the lips!) two days before. It had happened so fast. They were in Poe's place eating snacks and talking about ships and all, Ben being sweet and awkward (as always) and then... He didn't see it coming, even though, to be honest, he had suspected since the beginning that the kid was developing a crush on him. Wrong as it was, the kiss lasted more than it should have lasted, his dick became full under his pants, and he had to push Ben away before he lost his mind. How could he be so dumb to let it happen?

"Poe?" That voice was unmistakable. 

There's nothing that is so bad that can't get worse, thought Poe, still holding his comm. Of course that ignoring the kid for a day wouldn't be enough. There he was, in the hangar, just beside the scout vessel Poe had just landed. "Hi there, Benny. What's up?" He managed to sound neutral at least. Thankfully the hangar was empty that time of the day.

Ben was dressed in funny-looking grey robes that made him look even thinner and paler. Poe had to suppress a too wide smile for the boy's sake.

"Uncle Luke sent me those," Ben said. "I know, I look like a beggar."

"No! I mean... You look fine, kid."

"Don't call me kid... please."

"Okay...." Poe knew that was the way Han Solo called him. "So..."

"I heard you are moving to Hosnian Prime."

"That's where the New Republic fleet stays," Poe answered. "I've received the acceptance holo yesterday. I'm going to be a military pilot, Ben. As my mother was once, for the Rebellion your mother led." 

"I know." Ben seemed sad, or sadder than he usually did. Poe still remembered him when he still looked and acted like any other child with high profile parents, loud and spoiled, but at some point, he had become introspective and gloomy. Nicer people blamed his parents separation for that, while the cruel ones pointed out that for such an weird looking kid, being Han Solo's son should feel like a cruel joke of the Force. Poe didn't have a theory of his own. He only knew that in the last few years Ben had become as lonely as tall and gangling, but that didn't make a pariah out of him, not in his eyes. On the contrary, shiny happy Ben had been a hell of a brat, while quiet Ben was so interesting. It was no sacrifice to hang out with him. His classmates still called him "poenanny" since it started with a personal request from the senator, but until that kiss, Ben's company had been nothing but pleasing. 

"I'm glad you came to say goodbye. I've just received a message from your mother..."

"Don't go," Ben interrupted, as if he had been holding his breath for too long. "Let's leave together. The Galaxy is huge. We both can fly anything, we will do well, I know it." 

Poe frowned, then smiled. "You're kidding me, right?"

"No, not at all. You like me, don't you? We can be together. I can do lots of things, I can provide." Ben's eyes were begging now. "My... Han Solo will help us if we need."

 _Holyshitholyshitholyshit_. "Ben..."

"Mother is sending me to live with my uncle to learn the Jedi ways, but I don't want to be a Jedi." 

"Wait, slow down... you're to be a Jedi?" Now the stupid clothes made sense.

"Yes, but I don't want to."

"Ben, you can't be a Jedi. To be a Jedi you must have the Force, right? Skywalker sent you this stupid outfit and you're freaking out, but..." Poe stopped babbling when Ben closed his eyes and the old X-Wing guarded in the other side of the hangar (a Rebellion ornamental relic, not a functional ship) kicked alive, lights and all.

"I said we can fly anything." They could indeed.

"Okay..." Poe shut his mouth and remembered to take a deep breath, he needed to calm down. "Ben, put the ship down, please. It was Antille's for the Force's sake." The ship touched the floor and in less than a moment it was quiet in its usual place. "Good. Oh my... Holy shit! Ben, I had no idea." That surely explained a lot.

The boy came so near now. "There are two or three ships here we can use. I saved some credits, not much though, but I have all figured out."

"How long have you been planning this?"

"For a while, I guess. I never wanted to be a Jedi, but... No-now I'm sure of it. You see, Jedi can't form attachments and I... and I'm in love with you."

"Ben..." It happened again. Before Poe could blink, Ben's soft lips were pressed against his and once again he had to push him away. 

"Stop it! You don't know what you're doing." Ben was a couple of inches taller than him, but he wasn't hard to handle. So far.

"I'm kissing you," Ben said. "And I want to have sex with you. I'm ready, I know. The Force tells me that." The rest of what he had to say came out as a whisper next to Poe's left ear. As a spell. "How can I be uncle Luke's altar boy, if all I want is to feel you?"

"Oh my..." It was almost as if Poe could sense the heat of Ben's naked skin under the robes and for a moment, he felt a little dizzy. "Ben, this is wrong in so many ways. You're just a child."

"You're only three years older than I am."

"I doesn't matter, this is..." And he was kissed again, deeper this time, since Ben managed to catch him with his mouth open. He would be lying to himself if he pretended he didn't fall into it for more than couple of seconds, before the usual push. The truth was that those lips make his head spin, in a good, almost intoxicating way, like the day the hangar manager let him fly a starfighter. Or something like that.

"No!" he finally said. "First of all, it's not okay to kiss people like that..." 

"You want me. Now you know there's no point lying. Not to me."

Ben tried to come near him again, but this time Poe got a hold of his arm before some more improper touching happened. He had to think of something, anything to stop a serious mistake, because in a deep small corner of his mind, he already could see two very stupid boys stealing Antille's old X-Wing and leaving for good. "Wait. Let me think, please." He released Ben's arm, took some more deep breaths. 

"You won't like the Academy. The New Republic is not what you think. Run away with me, Poe," Ben insisted. 

"What about your mother? Your uncle?"

"They'll live. I'm not like them, they will understand that one day."

"Oh my... Fuck, Ben."

"I love you, Poe."

"Ben, you're sixteen. You don't know what love is and to be frank, neither do I."

"You're wrong. I know what I feel for you. First I thought you were just like her, full of Republic bullshit, but you're not. You do care about people. You even care enough about me. And you don't want to be taking orders from fat bureaucrats for the rest of your life."

The last statement stung a little, but Poe stood his ground. Ben's idea was beyond preposterous, so why wasn't he laughing ou making some joke? He was about to force some (probably bitter) irony out of his mounth when realized he was still holding his comm. With a brush of a thumb, he could access it all, his application to the Academy, his acceptance letter and all the messages he had exchanged with all his dear mentors about his future, his father, grandmother, L'ulo, Organa... If he left with Ben, how could he ever face them again? How would he face his mother when he too became one with the Force?

"I'm sorry. I can't. You're right, I care about you, but I want to follow the steps of my parents, I want to help make things right."

"You could make me right." A single tear rolled down Ben's left cheek and for the first time in that afternoon, he took a small step back.

"Oh, Ben. Look at you. You have the Force. There so many amazing things that only you can do. I understand you're afraid to leave, but restoring the Jedi Order would do the galaxy so much good..." Ben looked livid now and Poe felt like giving him a hug, a true and nice friendly hug, because he wanted to make him feel better and also because he was so glad (and a little proud) he made the right choice. However, even the smallest of his movements made Ben flinch, and maybe hugging would not be the best idea anyway. "We can still be friends."

"I don't want to be your friend."

"Ben, please..."

"And I won't be a blasted Jedi," his voice sounded so angry. "I'll leave before that and not you, not anybody here can stop me." He turned around and ran towards the service door, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand on the way.

"I'm sorry, Ben," Poe spoke to himself. "But I know someone who can."

 

In the end, Ben had been right about one thing. Some years after, young Commander Poe Dameron did become disappointed with the New Republic and deserted it to serve the Resistance. He didn't have the chance to give him the credit though. By the time he reunited with General Organa, Ben Solo had long disappeared during an windstorm in a obscure planet he was visiting with his uncle. Not even the last Jedi was able to save him. 

Sometimes Poe still wondered, had things been different, if he would.


	2. Armitage Hux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> General Hux's time to figure in Kylo Ren's ex list.

34 ABY, Finalizer Star Destroyer. Starkiller Base orbit. 

 

Armitage Hux was used to hardship. It was not luck what helped him to be promoted to General of the First Order by the time he was only twenty-nine years old. Although, as all kadets, he had been raised to be ruthless and competitive to impossible extremes, none of his colleagues had what young Armitage once had: no family, no name and absolutely nothing to lose.

In other words, failure was not an option. He had learned from the best and his goal was no less than becoming the first non-force sensitive to lead their organization, a goal he was very near from achieving in a certain way. Unlike Emperor Palpatine, Supreme Leader Snoke was a low profile figure, who didn't aim to rule the Galaxy' (Hux suspected he didn't give a shit about the Galaxy and its habitants). Actually, Snoke had a personal vendetta against the Jedi (and the Rebellion fighters who prevented the extinction of the Jedi Order) and that was all he cared about. The actual management of the First Ordes assets and settlements had long been delegated to a few superior officers and, one day, would be in Hux's sole hands.

And after many years, luck had finally become part of the equation. As soon as Hux laid his eyes on the Supreme Leader new apprentice, he knew he was what he needed to bust his already impressive progress. Kylo Ren was like Snoke, ambitionless regarding the political future of the Galaxy, since the (New) Republic and the Jedi were eradicated. He was also fairly easy to read, despite the mask and the Force bullshit, and had biological needs, just like anyone else. Moreover, he was rough power at its best, like the fuelled core of a mass destruction weapon. As such, he also needed some contention and Hux did know a thing or two about thermal oscillators.

However, Hux's luck didn't last as long as he'd like. Drawing Kylo to his side had been quite easy in the beginning. All he had to do was to put up with his affectations (and sometimes pretend he was impressed by them) and take him to bed, where, Hux had to admit, there was some great affinity between them, to the point he missed his presence whenever the Supreme Leader sent him away. But after the hunt for the Luke Skywalker map began, Ren had became almost unreachable and even sex, the few times it still happened, stopped being fun.

So instants before the doors to the interrogation chamber opened to give passage to a very pissed-off Ren, Hux remembered that their last fuck had happened almost a year ago and that he had to decide if he was going to do something about it or just let the investment die.

“It’s in a droid. A BB unit,” informed Ren.

“Well then, if it’s on Jakku, we’ll soon have it.”

“I leave that to you.”

Despite their current estrangement, Ren couldn't fool him. The more he tried to sound calm, the more Hux knew he was on the verge of thrashing some nearby consoles. The pilot captured in Jakku, Poe Dameron, was no ordinary prisoner. As his late mother Shara Bey, Poe gave up a prestigious military career to join a subversive organization led the infamous Leia Organa. So if Hux could bet, of course he would say their kids had met before.

After dispatching a unit of stormtroppers to Jakku and deliberating about Dameron's fate, he ordered Lieutenant Mikata to find Ren and tell him that he'd be waiting for him in his place for dinner. 

"I hope you called me here to tell me your soldiers found the droid," fired Ren once he stepped inside Hux's impressive quarters. He tilted his head when he saw Hux was waiting for him sat at dinner table in (official) off-duty clothes instead of his uniform, but said nothing about it.

"Good night to you too, Kylo. How was your Mikata-scaring today?"

"I'm in no mood for small talk, Hux. I need that map."

"It's just a droid, Kylo. In Jakku, no less. If my soldiers don't find it, some scavenger will. Now, would you please take the helmet off?"

"Why?"

"I like to see your mouth. It's one of your best features, in case you don't know. Besides, you need it to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"So don't do it for the food, which I especially ordered for you. Do it for my personal pleasure. I'll be grateful. Promise."

Hux was almost sure he heard a sigh behind Ren's mask. 

"Satisfied?" Ren asked, letting the helmed drop over the dinner table. Stress was written all over his face and he obviously hadn't visited the shower after coming back from Jakku. There was still sand and some drops of blood on his boots. 

"Thank you, Kylo. There's no need for it, is there? Now, please, sit. Don't eat if you don't want to, but at least make me company. I haven't eaten since morning, I'm starving." With a single touch on the small console by his side of the table, he summoned a droid who placed two trays before them and removed its cover to reveal nice, homemade food that smelled so good that Hux's stomach rumbled a little. In the beginning of their liaison, sharing meals had helped them bond. Now Hux wasn't that sure. 

Ren didn't touch his plate. 

"Did the unit operated as expected in Jaku today? I've read Phasma's report, of course, but all input is valuable to me, especially if it comes from you."

For an instant, Ren looked interested. An almost imperceptible flash of anxiety crossed his eyes. "Maybe there was something, but..." Ren hesitated. "You didn't call me here to ask me about the troop."

"No." Hux took a sip of the wine. "I wanted to see you. I miss our little arrangement. It was pleasant for me and hopefully for you too and mutually benefic. I know both of us are a little overwhelmed right now, but why waste a profitable partnership?"

"Profitable?"

"I also used the word pleasant, if you remember. C'mon, Ren. You helped me to get the Starkiller operation and I don't report everything you do to Leader Snoke, as it was requested of me." He forced a smile. "I even gave you our best ship." As silence fell upon them, Hux saw no path other than pushing his plate away so that he could use the extra space to get near his reluctant guest. After setting aside Ren's cold meal, he touched his gloved hands, pressing the tips of his fingers against the black leather. "We used to have fun, Kylo. What happened? I'm not the one here who knows how to read minds, you have to tell me what's going on."

"It was no longer fun for me."

"I don't believe it. I'm sorry but I don't." It was like Hux could feel their bodies pressed to each other or the way something inside of his chest seemed to twitch every time he woke up to find him meditating near the viewport. "We are on the same side and we are very compatible people in some aspects, we..."

"We fuck well."

"Yes, we do, Kylo. We fuck well. Isn't that good enough?"

"It's not a matter of being good or bad. This little game of yours... I cannot play it anymore."

Hux took his hands off him and reclined back, his fingers feeling like they weren't his own. "Well, I had never taken you for a prude before. Is that it? My ways are too low for you."

"I didn't say that. I just can't do this anymore. I need to strengthen myself for what's to come and this feels too much like, like something that should not affect me anymore." 

"Affect you? It's just sex, Kylo."

"I'm not like you."

"I still don't get what you are implying. I only know that it worked well once and that I see no reason to for it to end other then your lack of capacity to behave like an adult. So you want to be no more than Snoke's glorified pet, go ahead. Don't count on me to cover for you the next time you have a fit and destroy First Order propriety." He stopped, a little breathless, but Kylo's blank expression made him even more angry. "Know what? I don't care. There's no one on this ship that would not give away his own kidney to get in that bed."

Kylo got up and stood still long enough for Hux to think he had hit a nerve, but apparently it was not the case. "So go pretend with them," he said in that staccato tone impossible to be detected through the mask vocoder. "But in the meanwhile, get that droid."

"Oh, just don't go yet," Hux said, doing his best (and probably succeeding) to look relaxed in that chair. "There's another matter I have to talk to you about." That prevented Ren from turning around. Good. "The Resistance pilot will soon be interrogated again and then executed. Supreme Leader Snoke has already sent his approval, but since you captured him, I decided you should be notified." _I hope you loved him once_ , thought Hux. _I hope you, or what is left of who you were, still does. And I hope fucking Poe Dameron dies screaming_.

"I'm done with the prisoner. Get the droid."

"Just one more thing. What were you about to tell me about the unit on Jaku? If there's a problem, I must know."

The look on Ren's face went blank again, like the times he tried to reach for some knowledge available exclusively for freaks like him. He grabbed his mask and put it on again.

"There was some problem with the blasters. Some didn't work."

"Thank you for your cooperation. You may go now." He didn't want to, but he just couldn't take the eyes of Ren's back until he was out of sight. He didn't want to think about how close he had been to ask him to stay.

His comm buzzed. Twice. He accepted the call after the third time, before his subordinates thought he had a heart attack in his sleep. 

"General Hux."

"Sorry for interrupting your rest, sir," said Thanisson, "but we don't have good news."

"Before bad news, just tell me. Is that stupid Jaku droid onboard yet?"

"No sir. The unit on Jakku believes it found a place to hide during the night."

Hux rolled his eyes. "And the bad news?"

"Well, sir. The Resistance pilot has escaped. We're still investigation the details, but it seems that one of the troopers went rogue. A tie-fighter was stolen. There is some damage."

Hux closed his eyes. "Very well, Petty Officer Thanisson. I'll be right back to the bridge. If the prisoner is in a fighter, shot it down."

"Yes, sir."

Hux felt he was about to get sick. Ren would be so, so mad (on his own right) that the prisoner he captured escaped. He needed a shower. He needed to get back in his uniform. Then he'd know what to do.

 

The next time Hux met Kylo Ren alone in a bedroom was after Starkiller base was destroyed by Resistance fighters led by the same Poe Dameron that escaped from the Finalizer. Ren had been brutally beaten, he was barely alive when he found him freezing to death near the imploding oscillator of Starkiller base. 

Hux should wish for his death, he knew that. But every time he visited him at medbay (with the only the purpose of bringing news to Leader Snoke) all he felt was the same twist in his gut he had once felt upon seen him in quiet meditation beside his bedroom viewport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was always fond of the idea that Kylo and Hux relationship began years before the events of TFA, and that all bikering we saw in the movie was nothing more than sexual tension in its worse. :)
> 
> Anyway, I'm about to complete all my fics (there are only four of them), so I posted chapters 1 and 2 in the same day.

**Author's Note:**

> Ths fic is dedicated to my friend kyluxthrashcompactor, who was the first kylux shipper to ever talk to me through tumblr. Her fics are a huge inspiration for me. :)  
> Thanks for reading. :) Feedback is highly appreciated.  
> English isn't my first language, so if you find grammar and spelling mistakes, let me know.  
> Find me on tumblr, if you like: https://an-r-1.tumblr.com/


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